A totally different kind of awkward...

[artistwithoutacause]

When you've been best friends with two guys for years, and have never realized that they've been sleeping together.
Mind you, one of them has also had a steady girlfriend this whole time.
I think now that she's been the other one's girlfriend in secret.

You guys could have told me, you know? I'm not gonna judge.
I feel like a reject for never noticing.
And it's not like I'm already overloading adjusting to everything else, right?

Comments

[zingsticks]

Sometimes relationships are hard or awkward to talk about. Especially if they don't really... confine to social norms.

Or if they're cheating.

At least, since it's more the social norm-y thing, you get to be happy for them once the awkward part is over?

[artistwithoutacause]

Yeah, though one of the big things the group we're in is supposed to be working toward is more tolerance of people who don't fit the norms. You'd think they could open up to this group.

It's not cheating, thankfully. I never want to see those guys fight. They've been thick as thieves ever since I first met them.
It's definitely more of a threesome situation. And, yeah, I am happy for them. It makes L seem a little less lonely. Here I thought he was often a third-wheel having to put up with his best friend's girlfriend, but I guess they were riding a tricycle all along. *laughs*

[zingsticks]

Yeah... I've... had some interesting experiences finding out that some friends of mine were in less than conventional relationships. (A threesome and... a pair of couples forming a loose foursome, I guess?)

The second was more of a shock than the first, but... they're happy, and so I'm happy for them. I mean, if I'm honest, probably enough people would probably find the romantic friendship/epic bromance of my little band hard enough to understand, so who am I to judge?

It can be hard to come out and to express yourself, though, even within groups where you know you'll be accepted. Because everything can hold different meanings, different values. Unless the line is already defined, then it's hard to know if you and your situation will be the thing to cross it. You know?

[agentofagency]

A very succinct way of putting the problem. I'm glad that your friends had someone like you who could be understanding and empathetic about their situation.

Our society still has a long way to go in accepting that romance and friendship come in a vast array of combinations and permutations, and that sexual interactions only cover a small portion of that spectrum.

[zingsticks]

I'm glad to have them, let alone the other way around. They're amazing people.

You're telling me. As it is, I doubt anyone's going to believe one of the songs I'm currently working on is about me (male, around a 1 on the Kinsey scale) to my (male, 0-1) bassist. It sounds too much like a breakup song to me, let alone anyone else, and he's one of my best friends ever (I'd say my best friend, but that's not fair to our vocalist). But... pent up emotions make for good lyrics, what can I say?

[artistwithoutacause]

Nothing wrong with a close bond.
I'm glad you've got such a good group.

I know how you feel. I think I've got better pals then I really deserve. But, they haven't kicked me out yet. Eric's still putting up with my drunken rants and/or snoring every night. Somehow.

And emotions make for good art, be it verbal, musical, visual or what-have-you. Some of my most colorful pieces came from some tough times. And another couple from some great times.

[agentofagency]

Sometimes it's hard to feel safe even among friends when you're far enough away from the social norm (hence one of the reasons we need to change the norm). I'm just glad that they apparently feel all right being open about things with us now.

If it would make you feel better you could give them kudos for being good actors instead of berating yourself for not noticing.

We're going to get through everything, Grant. Never fear.

[artistwithoutacause]

I'd say we're all pretty fucking far away from the social norm right now.

Which is, I guess, why they let their relationship stuff slip.
What's a bit of odd numbered intimacy when there's a shadow monster hunting our souls and dead people living in our heads, right?

I still wish they could have felt alright saying something to me. They're the best friends I have.
I don't want to congratulate them on it. But I'll try to stop feeling so retarded. Because you asked. :)

I know, E. The question is, in what shape?

[potholeoffortune]

Ah, Grant.
We didn't mean to offend you by hiding it.

It's just, a difficult topic, even among queer rights supporters.
We'd gotten so used to keeping it quiet, from interacting with everyone else in our lives, that it became a hard habit to break. And even if you hope that a friend would be fine with the idea, it can be very awkward to bring up.

It's good of you to be as accepting as you have. Not everyone would, you know. You really are a good friend. If you have anything you need to get off your chest in return, just give me a call. We'll get drinks.

I am sorry that it had to come out during such a rough time.

[artistwithoutacause]

It's alright, I get it. Sorry for the venting. It was more just the timing than anything.
And I'll admit it caught me off guard. Not in a bad way, just surprised me. It took a little adjusting in my brain.

It's not like I'm always that great at bringing up my own issues, either.

I'm just glad you guys are happy. And that you've trusted the group enough to talk about it. I'd imagine it'll be easier for you guys, having somewhere you don't have to be so careful. Or a few somewheres, seeing as since Barry knows now, your home situation should hopefully be more relaxed.

Drinks sound good.

[personalpandemic]

Basically what Lyle said up above.

I'm sorry this all came out at a bad time. Probably we should have just sucked it up and told you guys. But it just... never seemed like the right time. And we've just learned to be careful, to keep from having to deal with everyone freaking out about it.

I think we should definitely go get drinks. This has been a very intense last few days.

[artistwithoutacause]

The timing's not really your fault.
When it rains, yeah?

And with the dreams forcing us to share more than we usually do about our lives, I guess it makes sense.

Drinks sound great. Maybe I'll man up and get your guys' advice as well.

[personalpandemic]

I approve of drinking in moderation!

When it rains, it certainly pours. I guess the more we tell each other when we're awake, the less it's going to have to try to torment us with when we're asleep, yeah?

What kind of advice can we give?

[potholeoffortune]

Here, here!